As a relationship coach and a facilitator of divorce recovery workshops, I see alot of turmoil involved in relationships. The issues cover the entire spectrum, from infidelity, lack of sexual encounters, lack or respect, to rearing of children.
The divorce rates are staggering. They are 50% for the first marriage, 67% for the second, and 74% for the third. So by the time you’re on your third marriage, you only have a 26% chance of a successful relationship. You’d think by the third time, people would have relationships down to an art, but the opposite is typically the case.
This is because we have a tendency to stay intertwined in our old habits. These are usually the habits that brought about the demise of the first, second, and third relationship/s.
So here are two ways to avoid the increased likelihood of a failed relationship.
They are:
Firstly, work on self-growth and getting rid of the old habits. For example, if you know you are anal-retentive, perhaps you can begin working towards not needing everything be perfect, so you don’t drive others mad with your compulsiveness. This is something I certainly have to work on. : )
If you know that you are a slob and it tends to cause problems in your relationship, begin taking some steps on becoming less of a slob. For instance, start putting up your shoes and picking your clothes up off the floor. It seriously does not take even two minutes and can make a huge difference in not driving your spouse bonkers.
Secondly, find someone more compatible or that shares your same interests, this could even include sharing your bad habits. Oddly enough two slobs living together will most likely be more harmonious vs. a slob and a neat freak living together.
It’s extremely important when choosing a mate, to look for someone with similar goals and values. I can’t emphasize this enough.
So, do yourself a favor if you want a greater chance at a successful relationship, choose your mate wisely and be diligent with your criteria and never stop working on bettering yourself and eliminating those pesty old habits.
