Each journey has a risk

When we are contemplating whether or not to pursue something as adults, many things run through our minds:

• Can we accomplish the task?
• Will it be too difficult?
• Is it worth my efforts?
• How much time will it require?
• Is it worth the risk?

When we were babies, how many times do you think we fell, before being able to walk?

When we were trying to talk, how many “goos” did we give it, before we uttered our first clear words?

When we first started trying to read, how choppy and illiterate were our sentences before reading our first congruent line.

For those of you that might be thinking to yourself right now, “Yeh, but those times were different; there weren’t any expectations or pressures on us.”

Are you kidding?

You don’t think your parents and family were urging you constantly to take those first steps, holding your little finger with one hand, while you waddled all around with those wobbly little legs.

You don’t think they were coaching you every day trying to get you to say “momma” and “dadda”, sounding like myna birds.

When it came time to reading, do you think they were reading to you for their health? No it was so you would learn how to read.

There were very high expectations for you to learn to do these things and constant pressure to do so.

The difference was the perception.

As a small child or baby, there were no perceived beliefs about failures and how that could stifle you if you didn’t accomplish the goal. There were no thoughts about the disappointment you would bring to yourself or others if you didn’t succeed.

There was just pure unadulterated effort no matter what the cost.

How many of us had or still have scars from all the times we fell down and busted our heads from trying to learn how to walk.

The scars and bruises are part of learning process.

Such is life. The scars and bruises we will endure are a part of life and help us to get where we need to go and do what we want to do. They shape and mold our “walk” and journey.

If we never got back up after falling, while learning how to walk, we would have continued to crawl.

So the question I have for us all is – how much greater things have we been able to accomplish by taking the risk and learning how to walk vs. if we had continued to crawl?

 

Would like to hear your comments and what you’ve been able to accomplish by taking the risks.

Every Other Weekend

Children are the embodiment of love. They are your gift and you are theirs. The love for a child certainly is like no other. Most parents describe it as unconditional.

 

You love your children when they drive you crazy. You love them when they’re being sweet. You love them when they’re filthy and you love them when they are weak.

 

You take your them to school, to their soccer games, and to the birthday parties too.

Your life revolves around your children.

 

What would your life be like without your children?

 

Because 50% of marriages result in divorce, this leaves half of all parents to answer this question upon receiving the custodial order of

EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. 

 

Having come from a divorced family at a very young age and having gone through a divorce myself, in which a child was involved, I know the pain from each side.

 

Imagine loving someone so much and only getting to see them every other weekend or perhaps even less.

 

A hero, a provider, a comforter, and a security, often times, that is what parents are in their children’s eyes.

 

When parents are together they generally provide a younger child with more emotional stability.

When they are around, children feel that the world is a secure place. They have no worries. They don’t have to worry what the future holds, why a parent no longer loves them, or what they did wrong to make them leave.

 

Too often when two people are going through a divorce they lose sight of the important things, like the children.

 

They believe that if they fight for full custody and try to keep the kids from the other parent as much as possible that they will be doing the kid a favor and providing them with a better life. However, frequently the fact is that it’s simply a fight out of spite and going to do the child more harm than good.

 

While you and your ex may no longer share your lives, the one thing you will always have in common is your child or children. And the common denominator is very likely, that they love you both very much. This is going to be a difficult transition for your children and every other weekend is certainly not common to them.

 

So if you can, try to put aside the differences that make you right or wrong or better or worse. Try to remember what’s best for the children in this situation – because this is not a choice for them at all.

 

Children are looking and longing for love. You can both give that to them by working together to make this as easy a transition as possible. Civility and kindness go a long way.

 

You are the example.

They will follow your lead.

 

It’s important to keep in mind what you’re truly fighting for.

 

Let’s face it divorce is painful enough.

Why make it more difficult for yourself and your children than it has to be?

Nature to Nurture – What is your Nature?

There are several things that dictate whether or not a romantic relationship will work out.

One of those things is the nature of the two people involved. A person’s nature will determine how much nurturing is going to occur.

For example, let’s say one person in the relationship is very affectionate and enjoys giving and receiving attention. Now let’s say the other person is not very affectionate and isn’t really accustomed to giving attention. Those are two extremes in their natures.

If you are very affectionate and thrive from receiving attention, be cautious about entering into a relationship with someone who isn’t very affectionate. The lack of physical expression of love, for an attention seeker, can be quite harmful to the relationship.

The person who is seeking attention begins to feel deprived of one of their most important desires. When this wish is not met, the one who is looking for attention can go through various stages to find the attention they are seeking. They will typically seek this attention out from friends and family first. But friends and family can not provide the intimacy this person is looking for. Many times if the issue is not resolved, the person will either look to leave the relationship or find this more intimate attention from another lover.

So, be cautious when seeking a mate and attempt to find someone who is similar in nature.

No relationship is perfect and without problems, but finding someone with a similar nature will help to eliminate some obstacles that you will face.

So, spend some time determining what your nature is, so you can find the one you want to nurture.

What Does Your Past Tell YOU?

I have to begin by saying I love coaching. It’s just an insanely rewarding passion that I have.
And when people find out I’m a relationship coach, I usually get a lot of questions, when they get me in a one-on-one conversation.

So, I was speaking to a gentleman today in a casual conversation. We talked about many things, including several of his life experiences and his contemplation of how and why he is the way he is.
I’m sure most of us have deliberated that a time or two, right?   : )

At first he began telling me about his various accomplishments and things he really thought were good qualities about himself. But that was shortly followed with him expressing some things that he thought were really stifling him.

Okay, so now let’s get to the catch.

How many of us have these stifling beliefs about ourselves????  Be honest!
How many of us let those beliefs thwart our visions, dreams, and aspirations in not only our professional lives, but also our personal lives.
Is it a wonder why our relationships suffer so often?

So, back to the gentleman. In less than 45 minutes, I had this man in joyful tears through the empowering words and questions I had for him. These thought provoking comments and questions caused a huge shift in his perception about these so-called “stifling beliefs,” the ones he was allowing to dictate his behaviors.

He felt immediate relief that this negative association could now be transformed to be of use and benefit to him, as I showed him how to turn it into a positive association.

It’s quite interesting how we operate and gain our thoughts and beliefs of ourselves.
What happens is we let our past create our reality.
Think about that for a minute.
The majority of people let their past, create their reality.

So, how about trying it a new way?
Let go of the past and let your present and future thoughts create your new reality.

How much better and different would your life be?